me on 2009: I must like every single page on facebook
me on 2012: I must unlike every single page on facebook
iphone420: for being the most obese country we sure rock at the olympics
asslenko: mormondad: obama would’ve jumped from that helicopter obama would’ve piloted that helicopter and crashed it into the olympic field, only to emerge proud and unscathed from the rubble as an eagle landed on his shoulder
h0odrich: just accidentally stepped on two mating bugs at least they died together like romeo and juliet
towritelesbiansonherarms: fr3aksh0ww: mpregbert: magikarpschoiceass: mpregbert: im so tired i could eat a horse i identify as a horse and this offends me i identify as offends and this horses me I offend horses, identify me. I identify horses This is a horse So is this and this this is not a horse
memewhore: Husband pranks wife while driving down highway A moment of silence because he is surely dead now. omg i would kill
lunchtrae: OH MY FUCKING G0DIJFHGIHOLKMNGBVFD
tomahok: my mother does not care about fashion haha what is she doing tho?
Batman: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
Bruce Wayne: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
People of Gotham: Shut up Bruce, we're trying to figure out who Batman is.
Batman: I'M BACK!
Bruce Wayne: ME TOO.
People of Gotham: NO ONE CARES BRUCE. WHO THE FUCK IS BATMAN?
dontsaydarby: What I never got in Tangled is how in the second to last scene when the guard busts in, the King and Queen understood that he meant their lost princess had returned. I mean SERIOUSLY. He could have meant ANYTHING. maybe they had previously established this was the look to have when she came back
Why can't rappers rap about nice things?
anna-mator: demigodofmypants: senzaspazi: YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself. WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA collection of politely...
shavingryansprivates: the best 52 seconds in film history fuck sharks but this is hilarious
When you rearrange the letters in the word...
troldemort: Same goes for DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT, THE EYES = THEY SEE, THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS, DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM, SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME, ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET’S RECOUNT, SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z’S THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE, ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE and MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER.
mysterybot: I played the Glee’s version of...
onionchester: i was at the store today and i was like paying for my stuff and i’m used to the cashier asking if i want the receipt and i always answer no but this time the cashier was like “have a nice day” and i was like “No” by default and i just left hurriedly cause oomg why am i like this
inkedimagination: glimmering: moment of silence for the women who are competing in the olympics while on their period
rorotoss: one of these is not like the others
500daysoffuckyou: EXCUSE ME BUT IT’S 2012 AND THERE’S STILL NOT AN OPTION TO HIGHLIGHT TEXT THAT’S IN ALL CAPS AND CHANGE IT TO LOWERCASE OR VICE VERSA AND IM SORRY BUT THAT’S BULLSHIT honestly tho! been waiting since elementary school for that shit!
chinchillaghosts: wivernryder: chinchillaghosts: heyfunnie: why is bob short for robert how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’? How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”? you ask him nicely
buttpower: you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four or keeps targeting you with skips and reverses and draw two’s!